From Sam

Hello my name is Sam Figueroa. My wife Ashley and I live in Salinas, CA.

My life has been a constant battle with pride. So often, I get really close to achieving something that I think is important, and fail. Then I realize it wasn't all that important.

I was reading the Beatitudes in Matthew 5:

  • Blessed are the poor in spirit

  • Blessed are those who mourn

  • Blessed are the meek

  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

  • Blessed are the merciful

  • Blessed are the pure in heart

  • Blessed are the peacemakers

  • Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness

  • Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

I couldn't help but think, "This seems really hard!" Everything that Jesus calls "Blessed" is the opposite of what I naturally want to do.

Then I realized that if you take your pride/selfishness out of the equation it's all really easy. "Poor in spirit" is easy. Without pride you don't need to have it all together. "Mourn" is easy. Without pride you aren't concerned about yourself and genuinely care for whoever or whatever you are mourning for. "Merciful" is easy. Without pride you aren't concerned about looking or feeling weak by showing mercy. I could go on and on.

I think my pride gets in the way of making disciples the way God has called me to do. I know that when I see someone who is proud or selfish I can see it on their face, I can almost smell it coming off them. The old me wants to go try and beat those people down. But maybe what God wants me to do is be so humble that even their pride doesn't bother me. What they seem to be isn't important, therefore, we can talk about whats really important...Jesus.

PS. I also think if we can achieve the humility Jesus describes, it is where true happiness is. There is this hallucinogenic drug called DMT that famous, rich people take that supposedly forces you into a humble state. They love the feeling and don't know why. I think God wants to give us this state permanently, if we really work on murdering our pride each day. Sorry to go on and on, but this stuff has kinda been blowing my mind.