About Joy Part 2
So, I found it strange that of all the things from which I was fasting, the thing that drove me nuts was the fasting from work. A symptom was what I called "frenetic activity". Even when there was nothing to do, I got myself busy about something.
At this time, two things helped move me along in my understanding. The first was Tara sharing with Isaiah 30:15 which reads,
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
The second was a conversation with a friend. On the subject, he said, "I've always worked to save myself." Those six little words cracked me right between the eyes.
Whether it was killing myself to be a better basketball player or working endless hours to make it as a young Navigator staff, I was trying to justify myself, to be somebody. Always trying to save myself.
This is the Good News right? We have a Savior. We have a Savior because we cannot save ourselves. Rest is the bodily confession that nothing we do can save us. For someone as arrogant as me, that Good News is also bad news... or at least, hard news.
Then it dawned on me: If what I'm really doing with work is trying to save myself, then my savior must be whatever it is for which I work.
To be continued...